Now it's kinda back and instead of my head leaping off the pillow, I'm dizzy whenever I get up. You know that expression When the student is ready the teacher will appear? Well apparently my teacher sends identical emails from Thailand. It starts like this:
Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo is a very common, but very distressing condition. Have you ever been so drunk that when you lie down on the bed the spinning rotation is so bad you grip the edges of the bed to stop falling off?
If this was a pop quiz, I think I'd ace it.
To understand BPPV, you have to understand the workings of your inner ear.
Dude, I don't understand ShamWow.
The natural movement inside the semi-circular canals of the ear is disrupted, so the fine hairs send the wrong signals to the brain, and being unable to work out which way is really “up” the sufferer falls over, totally unable to save themselves from hitting the floor. Debilitating and embarrassing!
Obviously they don't read my blog.
The commonest cause of interruption to the normal ebb and flow in the semi-circular canals is produced by “ear rocks”. These are made up of crystals of calcium carbonate, called “otoconia”. These “ear rocks” swish around every time you move your head.
So every time my father told me I had rocks in my head HE WAS RIGHT.
Is there any treatment? Yes there is, usually a series of maneuvers you are put through which are designed to move the ‘ear rocks’ around till they no longer cause problems. These are demonstrated by the balance specialists and usually result in around a 90 percent cure rate.
Who bets that I'm in the 10 percentile?
So even though I'd love to stay and chat, apparently I'm off to Bangkok to meet these people:
That blood type diet I talked about has been around forever. Type O's shouldn't have dairy. Fuckers. Sugar, booze and caffeine are out for me too. I'm afraid to read the other blood types because if one of them REQUIRES carbs, I'm going to Switzerland and having Keith Richards' doctor change all my blood. I don't think you can do that but I'm very persuasive when I'm naked AND carrying a weapon.
Lindy is a Type O Neg too and her body is amazing and she HATES carbs! But she'll eat some sugar sometimes and have wine. You'd kill yourself if you saw her body in a bikini. Oh wait, that's what I want to do.
End of chat.
