I'm sure you're all familiar with Charlie Sheen and his show 2 and a Half Men? The housekeeper on that show is played by Conchata Ferrell, who lives in my neighborhood.We live a few blocks from the Cinerama Dome, which costs a few bucks more but no one yells at the screen and there are never any babies crying and you can reserve your seat in advance while sitting naked at your computer with chocolate melanoma on your thigh.
It was built in 1963 to present special "Cinerama" movies. Cinerama was a wide-screen format of the early 60's, which used three separate 35 mm projectors and a huge curved screen. It was very successful and hundreds of domed theatres were planned, but the wide-screen process proved too expensive, and the Cinerama movie fad soon faded from popularity and became the VHS of movies. Ours is one of the last ones left in captivity.
This incident happened a month or so before my surgery last year and I was in BAD shape. I was buying painkillers off the drug dealer in the apartment next to me and I was the one complaining about him.
I took my reserved seat and noticed that Conchata and her 98 pound husband were sitting in back of me on the aisle. I'd chosen a middle seat and had a cane. The movie ended and I wobbled to the stairs and was negotiating them slowly when I hear her behind me say in a booming voice, EXCUUUUUSE ME. I edged closer to the side, which p.s., I was already so on the side I could have passed for flocked wallpaper. She just needed more room so people could recognize her. And how did she miss a FUCKING CANE and someone LIMPING?
Once in the lobby I put on a heavIER limp and hobbled right beside her and she didn't seem to think I was slowing down her trip to lap band surgery as she strolled leisurely along.
I'm telling you, fat people hate me.
End of chat.
