Recently I have been woken up by people having sex. Talking, yelling sex.
Two weeks ago it was a man going "Noooooooooo, no, noooooooooooooooooo." I lay there wondering what was happening. Bondage gone wrong? Didn't remember the safe word? Refusing to talk to his mother on the phone during sex? WHAT WAS HE DOING?
Last week it was a woman yelling Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss. That one was easy. Another faked orgasm.
A few days ago I heard two kittens having kitten sex. Not cat sex, which is loud and embarrassing not to mention a little disturbing, but kitten sex. I sat up. Silence.
I lay back down and heard a repetitive raspy sound that sounded like panting. Someone was panting on my pillow. Which by the way would make a great title for a Country and Western song or the book title for Jenna Jameson's memoirs.
Then I realized it was coming from me. All of it was just me.
I have asthma.
Between the Santa Ana winds blowing and all the fires, it has really made it harder for me to breathe at night.
I have talents I'm not even using properly.
End of chat.
