Thursday, August 19, 2010

Why The Internet Is Really Stupid

I was going to publish this list and not point out the errors. But then I felt bad for the spammers who might read it and not notice. So I've marked the mistakes in red. Because my goal in life is to help spammers over the hump of illiterate retardation and overall lack of intelligence. While at the same time giving up sugar and hacking into my mother's email.

I found these on the Internet. Some of them are obvious, some I've included even though I can chalk it up to dyslexia. I could've let those slide but where's the fun in not being judgmental?

But they all make me wonder why 'Website Proofreader' isn't the most requested job in the world.


~The Novocain’s starting to wear roof.

~Tampa Bay officials have been unable to capture a fugitive rhesus monkey that's been on the lamb since last Tuesday afternoon.

~When the show originally aired, Chopin was the center of attention and media coverage, having went from 407 to 193 pounds.

~Families are loosing their homes.

~Authorities have ruled out carbon monoxide posing as the cause.

~Singer, Johnny Holiday: Induced comma after hernia surgery.

~White, dressed in a toboggan, scarf and flannel-like jacket, said she works long hours at the law firm she owns and doesn't get much time to shop.

~There have been plenty of pictures of Woods' cuckholded wife Elin Nordegren and his alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel

~I barely hold it all together with hot glue, Velcro, zip ties, staple gun and the occasional duck tape.


~Currently he is charged with one murder in Michigan, which does not have the death pently.

~But five months after their gunshot wedding in Las Vegas, the couple got divorced.

~Presented to you without adieu, Brad's face in 2010 -- Bearded March, Stubbly June and Smooth July



I won't point out what spellcheck missed when I ran this post for errors. It's entirely too depressing, but then again sugar is a depressant. Or maybe that's Valium. In any event, I am looking forward to meeting White wearing a toboggan.
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