It's more like 17 tweets but a Top 17 List doesn't have the same ring to it. These were the tweets that made me laugh last year. As always, your mileage may vary.
@thezeroboss I hate being ordered around. And yet, I became a parent.
@Carabee I think Justin Bieber's hair is on backwards.
@johnfugelsang As of now BP has failed so many times NBC wants to offer them the 11:30pm slot.
@bortflancrest Is it normal for your right testicle to be larger than your other two?
@DanaJGould I got mugged by a toddler. I was walking down an alley when someone grabbed me by the knee and said, "Don't scweam."
@SamGrittner My wedding will be open casket.
@kellyoxford Justin Bieber just compared himself to Kurt Cobain. When Kurt Cobain finds out, he's totally going to kill himself.
@Neilochka If the Jews really ran CNN, it wouldn't be such a boring channel.
@AnnaLefler: I want to seize the day. I really do. If only the day would come over here by the recliner where I could reach it.
@RobSprance: A Hyundai should not cost $399 a month unless it comes with a BMW.
@CleverTitleTK It's starting to depress me how far I have to scroll back to find my birth year in drop down menus.
@lehmannchris It just seems cruel for California to vote Jerry Brown back in as governor without also legalizing pot.
@AdInsanitum Christian bands: If you didn't suck, you'd be known as "bands".
@badbanana If Santa knows who's being bad, maybe he could have given us a heads-up during the early planning stages of the Holocaust.
@zeldman Overheard: "I didn't mind the pat-down, but then he whispered 'Say my name.'"
@MarinkaNYC I don't want to say that my husband takes a long time to cook dinner, but if he were preparing The Last Supper, Jesus would still be alive.
@Joan_Rivers Jane Fonda sent me a copy of her new exercise DVD. It’s a workout for old people—for cardio you dig your own grave.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
