I figured it can't be men because they'd be asleep after the first 2 and you'd have to wake them for the final 4. But if you wake them and mention the Final 4 they'll think you're talking about March Madness and then you're going to be stuck channel surfing until you find a basketball game. You've also stopped for snacks after the first 2 orgasms and with him asleep this just leaves more for you. Let's get real and let the man sleep.
I asked some of my girlfriends if they'd ever heard of anyone having more than 6 orgasms in one day.
"I've done that."
"Yeah, me too."
"That's kind of normal, isn't it?"
"Yeah, in prison. YOU PEOPLE HAVE HAD MORE THAN 6 ORGASMS IN ONE DAY?"
"Ohhhhhh, one day. I thought you said one week."
"Yeah, I thought you said one month."
"I thought you said one year."
I bet Costco has group discounts on hearing aids.
"63% of people have had sex in a public place."
"I've done that."
"Yeah, me too."
"That's kind of normal."
"Yeah, in prison. YOU PEOPLE HAVE ALL HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?"
"Ohhhhhh, I thought you said *got to first base*.
"Yeah, I thought you said *while he wears lace*.
"I thought you said *without using Mace*.
"Wait, your husband has sex while wearing lace?"
"Hey, I don't let him wear MY stuff, he has to buy his own."
"Did you know that 18% of women go commando?"
"I've done that."
"Yeah, me too."
"That's kind of normal."
'WHICH ONE OF YOU AT THIS TABLE IS NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR?"
"Not me; I wear bikinis."
"Not me; I wear thongs."
"What's with all the statistics? You hate math."
"Quoting statistics doesn't mean I hate math."
"So you like math?"
"No, I hate it alright. Who remembers when Lindsay Lohan went all mental because that e-trade commercial referred to Lindsay the Milkoholic and she was going to sue them?"
"Yeah I remember. Why, did she have 6 orgasms a day in Central Park while going commando?"
"Ha ha and shut up."
"What percentage of people listen to you when you ask them to shut up?"
Is the Friends Store open today? I've got some shopping to do.
"Is this Miley Cyrus and if it is, is she going to be as delusional as Lindsay?" I said, pulling up a site on my friend's iphone.
"It really looks like her."
"Maybe I'll buy that for my husband, let someone else take a shift."
If you buy anything from Eden Fantasys, you'll definitely improve your sex life, although your FICO score may plummet if you get carried away BUT you also get a magazine with this noted sex magnet on the cover. So win win.
photo by Karen Walrond
**I was compensated for this review but I used the money to buy some things from their website. Wouldn't you love to know what they were? The red tantra feather teaser is one of them. Let's call it the tamer of the two!
**I was compensated for this review but I used the money to buy some things from their website. Wouldn't you love to know what they were? The red tantra feather teaser is one of them. Let's call it the tamer of the two!
