Finally, a good Oscars. If you haven't seen Slumdog, I seriously don't understand what's wrong with you. All the talk, all the wins and you're still sitting at home? The dancing number is 100% better in the film than what you saw last night and it comes at the end, so wait for it. 8 out of 10 Oscars. A story of hope. A love story without Ali MacGraw. Go.
I read the book The Reader and it was so bad I didn't bother with the movie. Then I saw clips of the film and Hollywood painted some rather broad artistic strokes over the book so now I'll see it. Don't read Revolutionary Road unless you've run out of sleeping pills.
The clothes: I'm so over The Stylist Look, where they plant some pale, colorless gown on the whitest people in the world until their transparency mercifully makes them disappear. And diamonds? Gee, that's new. So my picks were for the always fashion forward Heidi Klum and the man without his dog, Mickey Rourke, wearing the fashion future forward Jean-Paul Gaultier. Honorable Mention to Viola Davis.
Other revelations:
Hugh Jackman: My new husband.
New format: Not memorizing your speech to the nominee. Rude.
The floor reflecting the back screen: FUCKING ANNOYING FOR DAYS.
Sophia Loren: Real Movie Star finally shows up missing her waist.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman: Jews in the 'hood.
Ben Stiller: Please put him out of my misery.
Bill Maher: Stop doing blow. It's so Oscars 1997.
Steven Spielberg: Can I land my plane on your heliport hairdo?
Will Smith: You used to be funny.
Steve Martin to Tina Fey: DON'T...fall in love with me.
Jennifer Aniston: A braid? Really?
Angelina Jolie. You put something in your eyes to make us stare at you. And we can't look away.
Jai Ho means "I hope you win." And they did.
End of chat.
