Where Did Everybody Go?

Over the weekend we bloggers lost some of our 'followers.' For those of you who don't have blogs or know what the followers thing means, go read Vodka Mom. She was thisclose to getting her book looked at by someone uber famous and critical to her literary career but she lost some of her followers and it affected her relationship with this person. It's insane because she's mega popular, kind of like I am on the walls of men's bathroom stalls.

We need you to follow our blogs. If you don't know how to do it, just click on Follow This Blog, where all the tiny thumbnails are, and it takes two seconds to figure it out. You can be anonymous. You don't even need a picture to upload. You can be naked, like I am right now, but for the love of all that is shitty and cruel, please do it.

If you follow me, I automatically return the favor. I may not get around to commenting as much but I still read you all. If I follow someone and they never follow me, I will eventually drop them. It's totally quid pro quo with me because I want us all to succeed. Especially me because, well, it's always about me, isn't it? Really? Are you in tears yet?

This is a new age and we need to make the blogosphere work for us. If you're too jealous of those ahead of you, drop out now, you'll never succeed.

'Followers' help us with publishers and agents, as you can tell from Vodka Mom's post, Who Did I Piss Off? If you intend to get a deal or a gig, use the followers widget and put it on your blog. It's different from having Feedburner or Blogrolls. Apparently those don't count as much. I don't know why. Probably because publishers are drunk. Like you all are right now.

Thank you.

End of chat.