Monday, September 14, 2009

Ellen Is Getting On My Last Nerve

As a standup comedian, I respect her. When Ellen was signed as the star of her first sitcom, These Friends of Mine, she sat in some executive's office and agreed to everything that was said. When the show was renewed, she changed the name to Ellen. She also got her way on the new cast that was hired. More respect.

The only other sitcom that changed names and lived was Seinfeld. It's original name was The Seinfeld Chronicles.

So I knew Ellen was a very smart woman.

The day I stopped respecting her was during the Writer's Strike. Every talk show came to a screeching halt if they used Writer's Guild of America writers. Except Ellen's. She also crossed the picket lines so as "not to disappoint her fans." Letterman and my husband Craig Ferguson eventually paid their writers out of their own pockets to keep their shows going. I think Conan did too. Leno got in trouble for offshore joke writers but the WGA just recently overturned their decision on whether or not he broke union rules. He did not.

Ellen suffered from Shitty Guest Syndrome for the duration of the strike. TV and movie stars wouldn't cross the picket lines. She replaced them with 5 year old Chinese piano players and housewives from Jersey. At the end of the strike, stars returned to her show. Slowly, but surely. She was Bill Clinton and Oprah. Made of Teflon.

Now a lawsuit has been filed against her show for using over 1,000 songs without asking permission. The show replied "We don't roll that way." I like to go to stores and steal stuff. Pay for it? No dude, I don't roll that way.

Artists can and sometimes do make more money than anyone besides pro ball players. But the ascent to this financial pinnacle did not happen in their first year. It takes a lot of work to be an artist. And still you - and by you I mean me - don't make millions.

I have no respect for people who download anything free off the internet or don't pay ANY artist what they deserve. Do you get paid for your job? And now Ellen is going to be an Idol judge. Last year American Idol lost 7% of their audience. Ellen has 4 daytime Emmy awards for best talk show host. She has a huge fan base. They need her more than she needs them. I can only imagine what she asked for and got as a salary. They wouldn't pay Paula Abdul what she wanted. Instead they forced her hand and left her no choice but to exit the show after offering her a lousy 10 million compared to Simon's 35 million. Randy is paid in Hot Dawgs.

All the train wrecks are going away. Britney, Paula, Paris. What is this world coming to?

End of chat.
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