This is how I dress when I go to the dentist. The triage dentist at the clinic is a known perv. He was even let go for a year or two. He's one of those cretins who leers and then makes comments like "You sure do fill out those jeans nicely." Even though you're wearing a skirt at the time.
HOWEVER, he gives huge discounts so I wear tight clothes and take the half-off price and pretend he's fascinating.
So it's exactly like a first date.
Some of my teeth are bad and God forbid I die in some horrid way and they try and identify me through dental records. Some poor Medical Examiner is going to be telling a homicide detective that he's not completely sure, but he thinks the body on the table is a T-Rex. Maybe a baby giraffe.
Today Dr. Triage said a bridge of 4 lousy teeth was going to cost me $3600. I was sitting in the chair and a sign directly across from me said "Pancreatic cancer has been linked to gum disease." GREAT. How relaxing. Dentists have the highest suicide rate of any profession. That's because their patients threaten to kill them and suicide is their only way out.
I'll be going to the U.C.L.A. dental school instead. They claim to be half as much as a regular dentist. I called Lindy, who has never had one thing wrong with her teeth which is so totally unfair and surely makes her adopted, and said wouldn't it be funny if I went to U.C.L.A. and their half price was the same as my dental clinic's?
"Not so much." She replied.
