Mammaries...From The Corners Of My Bra

After I announced my ankle surgery last year, a fellow comedian, Brad Slaight, photoshopped my head onto this scooter. This is why you need to have comedians as friends. They're funny and demented and mock you out of your whiny little self and make you realize you're not on your deathbed.

Anyway, I had put on some poundage due to the fact that I couldn't walk without crying. I was in so much pain that Vicodin laughed in my face.

I couldn't walk properly for almost 2 years before last year's surgery because I was recuperating from another surgery so I was up to 139. Now it's a year and a half after the last surgery and I'm finally back to my original weight, 128.

Sidebar: Just so you know, I didn't understand that explanation either.

I've been staring at my clothes for years, wondering if I could ever fit into them again. After 4 years, I started referring to them as vintage.

Today I had lunch with MJ at iCugini, on the Pacific Ocean, before I took her to LAX for her trip back to Hawaii. The valet was $7.00, which is twice my rent.

While I was getting dressed I put on a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in 4 years. They fit perfectly. They were even slightly too big. Problem?

They're low cut.

I was overweight for so long I went out of style.

End of chat.