Kreative Award

First I'd like to thank the people who added votes to my Humor Bloggers tally. I'm still in 10th place but 105 is better than 101, so thanks. Now pull out your multiple accounts and go vote again. Yes, I'm pushy.

To my recent followers, Blogger is fritzing out on the list so I can't turn around and follow you but I will as soon as Blogger has fixed this. Apparently lots of people are having this problem.

And now onto this:
This award was given to me by the talented Patty Mooney, a videographer and filmmaker from San Diego. Her award winning documentary The Invisible Ones about homeless veterans should be seen by every American. Please go to their website and request a free copy for your school or church.

To honor her, I'd like to honor others like her, who pour out their art through the magic of a lens or a canvas.

Green Meadow Lane, Gregorio Art Studio, Robin Dodd Photography, Elizabeth Seaver Fine Art and Avery James Photography. If I've left you out and you're a photographer or painter, please copy the badge anyway and I apologize that I'm not familiar with all my readers' work. Pass it on if you'd like. If you don't know how to put it on your sidebar, email me and I'll give you directions that will make your head spin.

It's all the sugar. It only leaves so much room in my brain to read and think and connect the dots. DOTS. The candy!

I truly kill me. That's so you won't.

End of chat.

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Dardos Award

The Dardos Award is in appreciation of the merits - cultural, literary and individual- of every blogger who expresses him/herself on his/her blog.

It's also the biggest award in square footage.

I got it from Kyddryn and who the hell is Dardos?

Anyway, I'm giving it to Bee's Musings for kicking everybody in Chicago's ass, Frau, for kicking cultural German ass, Jovanka for kicking Belgium comedy ass, MereCat for kicking Georgia's literary ass, The Dyer Boys who kick each other's ass, The More, the Messier for kicking her refrigerator's ass and Deb on the Rocks for kicking some lesbian ass.

Can you tell I've run out of things to talk about? That's a rhetorical question.

Mrs. Art Linkalotter

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The Friend Award

I am the worst receiver of awards. They pile up, I put them on my sidebar and then promptly forget to distribute them.

But this first one I wanted to give to people who have really helped me along the way and made me want to start drinking again.

I got it from laughingwolf, who is certifiable, so he probably meant to give it to someone else.

Vodka Mom
I think we all know how I have used and abused the good name of Smith, Oregon in vain. If not for her I wonder if I would have any followers at all. She generously and drunkenly did shout outs for me and now I'm living on the street with my laptop.

The Rat Squeaks
Ron used to work for Blogger Help and I started writing him privately to help me when I got stuck. He always did.

Darsden
Dar has already received this award and I'm not surprised. It takes a lot of courage to step in and defend someone from a crazy person and that's what she did for me, with no prompting and no pleading. She's just one of those people you always want on your side.

Ann's Rants
A new friend.

Heidi
And old friend and by old I mean 23.

Susan
A new friend.

Mrs. K
An old friend and my old I mean 23.

Michel
A new friend.

Braja
An old friend and by old I mean 24. Orange you glad I didn't say 23?

Phil
A new friend.

God this is a lot of linking. There are more awards coming just don't ask me when.

Thanks to all of you for being great friends now please return the money you borrowed.

End of chat.

READ MORE - The Friend Award

Your Blog Is Fabulous

Mrs. Kay gave this to me and you're supposed to do something with it 5 times but I don't do memes and I never follow directions so all in all I'm a train wreck when it comes to these things. Just this afternoon I made McLoserstene put up one of those 3M hook things for me since I couldn't be bothered to read what to do when I had 3 layers of homemade cookies her mom sent up for me STARING ME IN THE STOMACH.

But I do know I'm supposed to pass the award on, maybe to 5 people? 5 cookies?

So here goes, Braja, Fussy, The Bloggess, Baby on Bored and Boss of Everything, who is now 67 weeks pregnant and ornery as hell. Which means no change in her personality AT ALL.
As I get to know newer readers like Tiggy, Grandpa, Sherri, Simplicity, Amber, Michel and my own personal First Queen, Hail to the Thief, I'll be handing out more. If I get any more. Click on the label at the bottom of this post to see whose lives I've already ruined with other awards.

Are Tony and Bethy who I think they are?

In the meantime, check out the linked bloggers and all my followers. Some of them are as demented and scary as I am.

You know who you are.

End of chat.

READ MORE - Your Blog Is Fabulous

The Blog Schmooze

Heidi gave me this which I think is her way of telling me I talk too much. Joy Behar calls me Aunt Blabby so Heidi is probably right. "The Schmooze award is for bloggers who...“effortlessly weave their way in and out of the Blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship.”

I'd like to hand it off to Nanny, who has just been laid off after 16 years of sleeping with her coworkers doing a top notch job at her company and Susan, who is dealing with a whore named Dawn Bicker, a slut sleeping with Susan's husband.

Hang in there girls, were pulling for you both.

End of chat.

READ MORE - The Blog Schmooze

Brillante Weblog Premio - 2008

I have no idea what this award means or even says. Neither did Bill, who gave it to me and animated me on my sidebar. But apparently it's premio so I guess that's good. But based on the word 'Brilliante' I'm assuming this award has something to do with that. So these blogs came instantly to mind:

Not THAT different who is always up to date on politics and legislation in Uzbekistan and her blog is like reading The New York Times with a weekly Haiku thrown in for good measure.

Road Atlas Shrugged, a comic and another blogger who never misses the news and the minutia the mainstream media lies to us about. And her Phillie's are going to the World Series!

Riley's Ramblings. First time author of Driving Sideways, a compelling writer and mommy to a dog and monarch butterflies, this girl does it all with a smile. Which I should borrow sometimes.

Eileen Cook. Another first time author, of Unpredictable, with a wicked sense of humor and a peaceful outlook on life, possibly because she has no children or monarch butterflies.

End of chat with Mrs. Art Linkalotter.

READ MORE - Brillante Weblog Premio - 2008

I Heart Your Blog

24 years has already gone by. Do we have a female President yet? I didn't think so.

I got this award from merecat. A lovely Diet Pepsi drinking mom of twins who always leaves lovely comments and is bootiful too. So here's who I'm giving it to:

greenmountaincountrymama, aka Heidi, who always leaves the funniest comments, is a wonderful mom and a phenomenal nurse and whose 5 year old son I'm going to marry when he grows up. I hope he knows what nursing home I'll be in.

The More, the Messier, who home schools her SIX children and still has time to comment on blogs. That noise you heard is me opening my oven and sticking my head inside.

Jenn, who never fails to leave comments on TWO of my blogs, takes care of her kids, her sister's child and is truly a terrific mom. And she's going for her teachers certificate or degree or whatever it's called. Those will be some lucky kids who get her as a teacher. I might have done better in school if I'd had her as a teacher. Although it's doubtful.

As you can see I'm handing out this award to people whose blog I Heart because they have big Hearts. Not a requirement, just something I decided to do. So give this award away or do what you want. I still have more to give out tomorrow.

And go read Uproarious!!

End of chat.

READ MORE - I Heart Your Blog

The Kick Ass Blogger Award

I got this from Jenn at Juggling Life back in 1879 and didn't do what I was supposed to with it so I'm doing it now. Imagine how I studied for the SATs. During the SATs.

First Jenn, thank you and I do kick ass if I say so myself. I'm fearless, outspoken and don't give a rat's ass if people don't like me because of it. I have three readers, should I mention that?

So here's who else deserves the Kick Ass Blogger Award: (and if you already have it well now you have one more):

Jason. For the love of God. Totally puts herself out there. Honesty oozes from the pain she's suffered and survived.

Deb on the Rocks. Can kick the shit out of anyone (except me but if she shows up at my house I'll totally deny I wrote that) with her brazen topics and sex sex sex.

Mrs. K. Raised her daughter on her own until she met a wonderful man but she doesn't put up with any crap from them OR her tennis club.

Bee's Musings. Do NOT cross this chick because she will cross you back, only hers will be funny.

You're supposed to link to me and give them to others but do what you want because I HATE rules and have a wee bit of an authority problem. More awards to hand out coming soon, like 24 years. Now I know why I didn't do this when I was supposed to; it requires THINKING.

End of chat.

READ MORE - The Kick Ass Blogger Award