Hollywood Really Sucks It

The Golden Globes were so tragic this year I switched over to Brothers and Sisters at 10 pm and read the winners on the Internet. Then last night I watched Entertainment Tonight and thought, "Where were THOSE Globes? They looked a lot more spectacular."

Such a wide variety of ill-fitting, weird colored gowns made the women look like they were saving their money and not using stylists this year Sigourney Weaver. Anne Hathway was from the 2007 Marie Osmond Doll Collection. Colin Farrell sober. Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange high. Spielberg boring. Ricky Gervais the only bright spot in a town full of humorless has-beens and dubious celebrities like the excruciating Miley Cyrus and the JoBros, as Ryan-shut-the-fuck-up Seacrest called them. Kate Winslet so long overdue for her due. Rene Zellweger so long overdue for a clue.

In other ill-advised news, Hollywood has decided to remake Bye Bye Birdie, The Great Gatsby, Romancing the Stone and Arthur. WHAT? WHY? WHERE are they going to find another Elvis? Oh wait; I always forget he's not dead.

Hollywood loves the blockbuster cartoon movies. (Sinbad, The Green Hornet, Captain America, Buck Rogers are just a few in the pipeline. Mercifully the Narnia franchise has been dropped). And then they wonder how Slumdog Millionaire is shaming the bigger movies and sweeping the WGAs, NBRs, DGA's, CC's and Globes. And probably The Oscars. I'm guessing it's because of a little thing called originality and imagination?

Sidebar: Does anyone else find it weird that the U.S. is #20 in literacy and Cuba is #6? #1 is Luxembourg and since no one knows where that is, no one goes there so they have a low population and @@ *SPLAT!!*!! they're @@*HOLY COW BATMAN!!* !! @@ Number One.

I've ranted about this before and some people then go on to comment that the U.S. made X and Y and Z. Fine. But great movies are in the Indie field, not in Hollywood. And now Bollywood, which makes anywhere from 800-1000 films a year. And Aishwarya Rai. Can I marry her? Will her husband mind? Does it matter that I'm not gay? I'll have to check with Braja over at Lost And Found In India, for all you Indiaphiles.

Aishwarya Rai

Tina Fey: Entertainer of the Year? She can't act, how is it possible that she won over Mary Louise Parker? When she won last year's Emmy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, also up for the same award, removed her own head when Fey won. So did I since I rarely use it anymore.

Mamma Mia! is now the highest grossing film ever in the United Kingdom, beating Titanic 69.1 million pounds (105.8 million dollars) to 69 million pounds. The Dark Knight could not overtake Titanic in the U.S. so that hateful movie still dominates. Now it's very 'in' to say you hated Titanic but I hated it the split second I saw it. Who throws expensive jewelry overboard? A bad movie, that's who.

End of Movie Chat.