Vodka Mom and I were married over the weekend while she claimed publicly that she was going to Florida for some Nudist Camp Convention.
Yes, there were some issues we had to work out:
1. She lives on the East Coast and I live on the West Coast so hogging the covers won't be a problem.
2. I'll have to convert to her religion, alcoholism.
3. We're not lesbians so sex will be awkward.
4. She has kids and I've seen examples of them in stores and on the streets.
5. She has a husband and I'd recognize him if I ACCIDENTALLY slept with him.
Where are we registered?
1. Every bar in the United States and Canada.
2. Rosie O'Donnell's family cruises.
3. Ellen's online store. We're both an extra small.
Where are we going on our honeymoon?
We're thinking a golf resort. Golf is pretty easy to play, isnt it?''
Why did we do this now?
Because Braja was KEEPING US APART.
