Yesterday I sent about 3 million emails that said "I've lost my checkbook and can't find it anywhere." Then I got 3 million responses along the lines of Please stop contacting me and Have you checked up your ass yet? I'm starting to see the appeal of Twitter.
And with Twitter, the x-ray vision of my Tweetees would have been able to see my misplaced checkbook from their home in Scottsdale.
I'm still living in the early zeros. Then no one knows if I'm referring to an era in time or their children.
I had 3 alarm clocks in my bedroom. One would break and I'd just pull out another one. This was my version of Crazy Cat Lady. When I got down to my travel alarm it was just sad. Especially since I don't have a job so why do I need an alarm clock? So I won't miss Regis and Kelly?
So I searched everywhere for a CD-themed alarm clock because I have hundreds of CDs. But now they only make them with IPod bays. Since the 80's, when everyone had a Walkman and now 20 years later has lost 40% of their hearing, I never put anything noise-related in my ears. I rarely use my cell phone because I'm not clear that all the data is in on brain cancer. Today's teenagers will tell us in 20 years only we'll miss the news because we'll be too hard of hearing.
I finally found one at Best Buy.
I stand in line and remark to the 12 year old cashier that the Sony appears to be cobbled together by Kleenex and a smile.
"It's a Sony," he whispered conspiratorially.
"I know."
"They make great stuff."
Did I have a used tissue stuffed up my sweater sleeve? Was I gathering my ratty shawl to my bony frame and shivering? Had I dragged my death bed along behind me? WHO DOESN'T KNOW A SONY MAKES GREAT STUFF? God, young people annoy me. But so does everyone else so there you have it.
Someone gave me this award and even though I usually keep all the info you're supposed to keep on an award I lost it on this particular one. Anyone?
So, another day, another 25 cents.
End of chat.
