As with past mailbags these anonymous lines are pulled from the emails I get. Some of my friends need therapy. I, on the other hand, have already had 5 therapists and am completely cured. Only I don't remember from what.
-I stopped blogging altogether when I realized I had nothing else to say. Am now just working up the nerve to stab myself.
-You really are fucking with people, huh.
-I will be experiencing the incredible joy known as purchasing a new toilet. I am getting this environmental model for low-flow water. There are two buttons on the top. You press “1” for number one, and “2” for number two.
-To Anyone Who Apologizes for not posting enough. Don't apologize. Trust me, it's enough.
-Now we have to deal with the sick-fuck violent porn available 24/7. Forgive me, I've been watching Dexter.
-Should my Mom die, I will ask you in advance to restrain yourself from stealing the flowers off her grave.
-My family would get decent money if someone just shot me now.
-P.S. Should we ever be in a situation where I am zapped, breathing but unable to feed myself, please pull the plug.
-and...............who do we hate?
-I'm saving this email for my "when I feel like an asshole" file.
-So, aside from that, Jackie, did you like the parade?
- I keep having moments of nostalgia, then I hear Harmony, or Mister, or the fucking poodle across the street and I resume counting the minutes.
-I was snowed in on Wednesday, my BD, with the kids. Damn it. Yesterday I had no will to live. Today the sun was shining but I had to go to work. I am there now, having a blast. NOT.
-one of my friends at work suggested I let my hair go naturally gray and I almost vomited. When you hear me say that I’m letting my hair go gray/white/whatever, please notify the authorities as it means I require hospitalization.
-You really are fucking with people, huh.
-I will be experiencing the incredible joy known as purchasing a new toilet. I am getting this environmental model for low-flow water. There are two buttons on the top. You press “1” for number one, and “2” for number two.
-To Anyone Who Apologizes for not posting enough. Don't apologize. Trust me, it's enough.
-Now we have to deal with the sick-fuck violent porn available 24/7. Forgive me, I've been watching Dexter.
-Should my Mom die, I will ask you in advance to restrain yourself from stealing the flowers off her grave.
-My family would get decent money if someone just shot me now.
-P.S. Should we ever be in a situation where I am zapped, breathing but unable to feed myself, please pull the plug.
-and...............who do we hate?
-I'm saving this email for my "when I feel like an asshole" file.
-So, aside from that, Jackie, did you like the parade?
- I keep having moments of nostalgia, then I hear Harmony, or Mister, or the fucking poodle across the street and I resume counting the minutes.
-I was snowed in on Wednesday, my BD, with the kids. Damn it. Yesterday I had no will to live. Today the sun was shining but I had to go to work. I am there now, having a blast. NOT.
-one of my friends at work suggested I let my hair go naturally gray and I almost vomited. When you hear me say that I’m letting my hair go gray/white/whatever, please notify the authorities as it means I require hospitalization.
